I'm feeling '22

New Year's Day felt pretty good.

I spent the morning procrastinating. And any good year starts off that way, doesn't it?

Well, you check your financials for your new year in that new budget book you got for Christmas. You put some dates in that new 2022 planner you got for yourself from T.J. Maxx. You start off your new chronological Bible reading plan. You shower. You don't start exercising for the new year, but you (think) you will.

You catch up on yesterday's Bible Reading you didn't get time to do, and one of the final verses says this

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." (Proverbs 31:30)

Oh man, here we go...

For many women, we are told this all the time. It seems so much of a Christian woman cliche, that it is hardly a cliche anymore. In fact, I think we have just disposed of it in our minds. And yet, every verse of the Bible is to be cherished because it comes from the very words of God. Never mind that we have abused it, overused it with little meaning or purpose.

How about, for the new year, we regain the meaning of this verse and unpack what it means for the women (and men) of 2022?

I'm talking to you

Proverbs 31 is such a beautiful tribute to womanhood.

(How many eyes rolled when I said that?)

But truly, every time I read this passage I think, Man, I wish I was like that! Or maybe, I'm in the habit of thinking I wish I was like Man!

As part of the chronological Bible reading plan I read yesterday morning, I read the creation narrative as well as the fall of mankind. And once again, I encountered these verses:

"Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you" (Genesis 3:16b)

Of course, we know that "for" really means "against". She will desire to be like her husband, as head of the household. She will not want to accept his authority, which will create disunity in a relationship that could show a beautiful teamwork in their different roles.

The fact of the matter is, I do not wish to press the complementarian perspective in their New Year's post. In fact, I want to divert our eyes from the troubles in mankind's relationship with one another, and rather focus on another figure to whom we all submit: the Lord God.

The fact of the matter is, while women in Proverbs 31 are pinpointed as having these different roles that are beautiful (especially in the context of writing) - "she considers a field and buys it", "she dresses herself with strength", "she makes linen garments and sells them" - they are not the words King Lemuel's mother is addressing this writing to. Women make this about themselves, and surely it models beauty and strength - but it is surely about the son - King Lemuel himself. She is setting an expectation for her son saying:

"Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy." (Proverbs 31:8-9)

She has high expectations for her son. She holds the same expectations she has for the woman (that she wants her son to look for and consider, one who is rare and hard to find) as she does for her son. She says that such a wife "opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy" (vs.20).

Perhaps we might infer the message of Proverbs simply by comparing these two verses in the same chapter, in the same "oracle that his mother taught him" (vs.1). It is important that in everything we do, whether male or female, we do so in order to fear the Lord.

I read Proverbs 31, not feeling suppressed in any way. I read Proverbs 31 with the understanding that this entire book was compiled for men to learn. The first few chapters were written to Solomon's son, often the book is addressing men and they are holding them to high expectations. Men and women alike are to serve and fear the Lord in everything they do.

I have the opportunity to be a woman who fears the Lord, just as my brother in Christ next to me has the chance to be a man who does likewise.

How beautiful that whatever my role is, as defined by scripture, we are both simply here under God to serve and fear him above anything else. So yes, I'm talking to you, reader from the other side of the screen. Your role has always been to fear God.

Nevertheless...

This has been a passage I have long desired to apply in my own life. Beauty is vanity in Proverbs 31:30. If my own pursuit of beauty does not line up with God's definition, I am simply vain. It is all futile and nothing is truly beautiful about it.

This past year, I don't sense I have truly grown more beautiful. But I don't believe, as a Christian woman, I can speak against the power of the Lord and the greatest love and change and transformation he has and is capable of bringing into my life.

The pastor at a church I visited this morning reminded us of this verse in his sermon on God's goodness from Psalm 84:5-8. He reminded us of the change God has brought into our lives, that he wills to occur in our lives:

"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ...work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure." (Philippians 1:6;2:12-13)

My life has always been for the sake of glorifying God. You know, if you have read my posts before, I have a desperation to simply glorify God as I was created to do. The fact is, God is working in me to glorify himself in me.

Even in my lack of beauty now, his work in me is bringing about beauty that is glorifying to him. More so, his work is beautiful.

A prayer last year

I remember a night last year (2021) where I simply cried to the Lord. After seeing so many people go through hardships, I prayed Lord, sanctify me. Make me beautiful. (a much shorter paraphrase of an extremely long and tired chat with God). I have seen people struggle and wrestle and strive even more through numerous trials in their lives. The fact is, I have seen people look at God through these trials and come out more like Christ. I wanted that. It was painful to pray that God might try me where he may, so I might look more like his Son. I do not want to suffer. But, where it be God's will, I know it will make be beautiful.

But there is a warning to be understood as we go through trials.

I just finished reading a book called Jack by George Sawyer on the life of C.S Lewis. One part I remember most distinctly was his description of what it is like to go through trials. If I understood it correctly, he described life as a kind of large mouse wheel for humans (one that you might see used in a trebuchet). If we were to look down at where we were standing when moving through both open sides of the wheel, we would easily topple over. It would slide under our feet. But with eyes fixed firmly ahead, we may budge a little, but we will make it to the other side.

The other side of the wheel is open, and all I should be looking at is Christ. I should not look down at the wheel, at my pain, at my suffering. This life is more that this life. It truly is about Christ. I will simply become more grounded in the physical and never grow more akin to the image of Christ.

Who cares if the wheel budges a little? But if I look down so much for it to move underneath me, I am surrendering myself to the wheel, when I should surrender myself to the one thing steady in front of me.

My word for this year

Everyone talks about having a word for the year, and it inevitably changes, the more depressing the year gets. This, I deduce, is mainly because we realize every goal we sought to accomplish has been neglected. Why do we keep doing this to ourselves?

I don't want to define this year in a single word, but I do believe I can kill two birds with one stone by simply leaving it as this: "beautiful".

It describes everything I desire from this year. We all want to exercise more, eat less, love others, and read our Bibles. But what if we just said this: we want to appear more beautiful in the eyes of our Father. I cannot do this on my own, which is why Philippians 2 reveals that God is the one who works in us.

So, more than these stupid new year's resolutions (with great intentions and never results), why don't we say to God, "make me a creature who is teachable, whom you discipline, that you love when I fall, and that you teach some more". Beautiful is the child who is patient for Christ's beauty.

And know that, one day, in the eyes of the Father, the child of God will only ever look like Christ. Praise God for his lavish grace on us!

Happy (beautiful) New Year!