"The Shape of Voice"

[Please know this article has some comments on sensitive topics such as suicide and abortion. Please be respectful. If such topics are triggering, please stop reading here.]

I've had a lot of thoughts of what it is like to have a voice. The other night we watched a film that pulled my heart in two. For many films, I cry out of sympathy. For others, it is empathy. Watching "The Silent Voice" on Netflix with some friends brought out uncomfortable emotions in my, ones I do not often share openly.

The anime, made by the same company who produced Weathering With You, discusses the bullying of the deaf girl and the implications that can have on not only the victim, but the bully himself. With feelings of retribution from his wrong, the bully attempts to repent and heal the wrong of the past. But the girl, struck with her own feelings of guilt at causing trouble, attempts suicide, which he rescues her from, but risks in own life in response. The rest, I will leave to an audience to watch.

The film, needless to say, is a tear-jerker. But something did not sit right with me. It wasn't the film, and while it likely had things I didn't agree with, that wasn't why I didn't feel right. It was the memories it sparked.

Last Saturday...

Last Saturday (as some of you may remember from my previous blog) was a hard day. Without seeking to name the event nor talk of it, it startlingly reminded me of an event mid-last year: the death of a close friend of mine friend to suicide. I have lost a member of my family and other friends in the course of my life to this instrument of death.

I am sorry if I have sparked sadness. Please reach out to someone if you are struggling. Please reach out to someone if you know they are struggling.

For what is the shape of voice?

That is what the film asks. Whether I interpreted it correctly, it reminded me there two main remedies or medicines when addressing the trials of our lives: listening and talking. Generally, the listener is the one aiding the one who is struggling. The talker just needs to let it out. I am a verbal and a written processor. I can think deeply, but I need to process it more openly. Hence why I am comfortable to publish this blog.

The shape of voice does not have to be controlled by a disability. The girl in the film could barely talk because she was deaf, but she found her voice in writing, in sign language, and occasionally audibly. He could process in many ways, largely through his own voice.

Either way, both found healing by finding how they could use their voice...and actually using it.

I wonder if my friend last year just wasn't able to find her voice.

And there is a weakness to this position. Indeed, as a believer in Christ and the truths of God's word, I know that healing comes through his death and resurrection. I know that healing will only come when he finally comes to restore the world to its natural beauty, when he finally comes to create a world that is whole once again.

But once again, the voice is the greatest expression of that healing. We must share the gospel, we must pronounce the truth. How else could we have found healing if God had not divinely revealed it to the prophets, if he had not given the apostles the tongues, or the great evangelists the words? How could we have come so far if visions had not instructed people from remote places to find the word of God and read it?

And perhaps I am just speculating, but if I had just shared the gospel truth with my friend time and time again, if I had just encouraged them in the Lord, might I have seen a greater joy. No, the fake smile they must have glued to their face, only covered the depression of their heart, the weariness of their spirit. A simple word, written, verbal, acted or otherwise expressed may have done enough.

Yes, we must listen. But we have a voice. And you do to.

Please, if you are struggling, use your voice as well. Unfortunately, the imperfections of this world make communication between individuals much more complicated. Make it know that you need help or assistance. Do not assume that every time it will bring the right comfort, or what you thought you were looking for. But see the listener, and check their words, and look to God, and pray that their presence will bring rest to your spirit as Christ restores your heart.

The constant battle...

But there are even people who have no voice. I am not contradicting myself. I will get on my soapbox once again and ask that people please speak for the hundreds, maybe thousands of children (yes, children) each day who are killed in abortion clinics worldwide.

It is death. Like suicide. It is just as tragic.

I just wonder how long society must continue on in silence. How long must we journey to find our voice? How long must we spend trying to protect another's?

You see, it's a team effort. The voice of the baby, much the biological process of pregnancy, is reliant solely upon another. As the baby is dependent on the mother to grow and be nurtured, it is we who must courageously defend them, when they are weak and helpless.

And yes, we must listen to the mother crying on your shoulder, who didn't want this pregnancy. And yes, we must cry with them and hear of their pain. We must suffer through it with them. But who will suffer with the child. We have a voice, when they do not.

And what is the shape of your voice for them? Do you even speak, or write, or show, or fight?

I believe there is far too much noise in our society. Too much shouting. I wonder if I could defend their honor in a quieter, humbler way. Seeing my beliefs as not only my will but God's will (according to his word), might I defend their honor in the manner worthy of the calling of Christ? Might I do so in love?

The shape of my voice

There is very little that will stop me from tearing up at this point. I have very little shape to my voice. I make my own problems known, I do not stand up or encourage the rights of others. I have a hard time listening and responding. I pray I might seek righteous justice.

But, I pray I may not become a "clanging gong" as 1 Corinthians 13 puts it. While that spoke of speaking in tongues and such gifts of the Holy Spirit in the church, it speaks of what is helpful for the upbuilding of the church, what is beneficial. When I speak of such matters, do I offend too much, or not enough?

As I said, there is far too much noise in our culture, that its hard to separate the truth from the lies. Christians must be quick to listen, slow to speak. Perhaps with such a manner, we might stand out more.

But I beg you once again, make your voice heard if you are struggling. I plead with you, share your opinions in love, when you know the voiceless are being abused.

The shape of your voice has very little to do with it, I feel. It is manner and heart and spirit with which you shape it. And every shape, when molded according to the word of God, is beautiful and rich and healing. And I pray we might find rest in the words of God.