"Nothing could be finer..."

Early breakfast. Tuesday morning. Driving down an interstate with a cold brew in hand. Parking. Waiting. Five minutes later, two tired faces greet me, hopping into my car to go through the Chick-fil-A drive-thru. I ask them how they are doing, we catch up. We pray, we eat. We read Scripture or talk about what God has been teaching us. We go on a drive as the sun peeks through the leaves of trees and the specks of my windshield. Then a question: Can we play "Carolina in the Morning" again?" I smile, "Of course." Dean Martin greets us this morning once again. Good morning, Dean.

Good morning, church ministry.

Breakfast dates with my Youth girls made good mornings. But so did Sunday mornings being greeted by them at the church doors. Good nights were composed of welcoming them to Youth Group, and promptly being hit in the face, shoulders, or stomach with soccer balls, dodge balls, basketballs, or volleyballs they would throw around before the night began. Good nights also transpired gathering around God's Word Wednesday night and talking deeply about who God is, was, and will be.

Then there was everything else: coffee dates on Saturday morning, QT runs midweek, random Walmart shopping trips, service tasks at church, walks in the park, or hikes up a mountain. During the week, I would prep Sunday School Lessons, Small Group Lesson curriculum, or Youth Night talks. On Tuesdays, meetings with my boss to plan events, seek guidance on reaching the girls, tangential theological conversations, or prayer for students.

At staff meetings, while purposeful and intentional, we would build staff relationships in conversation and prayer. Meetings testified to the unity of brothers and sisters in Christ who serve together in ministry. I praised God for it every time. Despite the age gap between me and the rest of the staff, I was loved and valued, even though I met them with immaturity and inexperience. I praise God for their patience.

"Nothing could be finer than to be in South Carolina in the morning when you get to wake up each day and live out your dream of serving the Lord as your job" - that's how the song goes, right? Maybe not, but it was the song on my heart most days. Nothing could be finer than to live out your calling to disciple, to train up, to model for the next generation what it means to love the Lord with all your heart and soul and mind and strength.

Strength.

Good morning, God of all strength.

The word "strength" reverberates in my mind, because I know all the guilt and shame and tears I had from fear and unworthiness for this calling. It's because I feel my body as a chamber of weakness. "Strength" haunts the emptiness of these halls. Where is strength to be found? It is as lifeless as a ghost that haunts these halls, that speaks but cannot be grasped. I am not strong. I am a sinner, of "unclean lips" (Isaiah 6:5), how might I ever declare the glory of God, and "shine as [a light in the [darkest] world" (Phil 2:15), when I am as dark as, and empty and weak in my sin?

But here are two clear hopes illustrated in both Isaiah 6 and Philippians 2. Firstly, if we have unclean lips, but a truly penitent heart, we can believe this: that God will bring the burning coals to our lips and declare that our "guilt is taken away, and [our] sin atoned for" (Isaiah 6:7). As for the rest of our lives and living for Him, "it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure" (Phil 2:12). We need not live in shame.

Yet, I find (arguably lesser) comfort in something else: Isaiah laments not just his unclean lips but also "a people of unclean lips" (Isaiah 6:5). How could that be comforting? Because for a girl who clings to shame, who sees not the forgiveness of the Lord for the repentance He has produced in her heart, it means I need not (nor should I) isolate in shame: my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ are guilty as well. It is a hopeless situation to find a world guilty, hence the lament by Isaiah. But to be surrounded by sinners who proclaim the salvation of their souls in the justifying, adopting, transforming, and reconciling blood of the Lamb is an encouraging experience. It reminds me that when I feel I am the only sinner, I am not. For the person serving in ministry - who is to be above reproach and daily wrestle against sin - this can be a helpful reminder to seek counsel and support. We were never created to do this alone - even the perfect life that God initially created us for.

Nevertheless, I cannot deny the strength that comes of confession and repentance. It aligns with Peter's call in Acts 3,

"Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord, and that he may send the Christ appointed for you, Jesus, whom heaven must receive until the time for restoring all the things about which God spoke by the mouth of his holy prophets long ago." (Acts 3:19-21)

Times of refreshing. Time of strengthening. Times of equipping us for the ministry God has called us to. And if God works in "vessels of wrath" to make them "vessels of mercy" (Romans 9), perhaps we recognize such weakness, for His strength will shine through (2 Cor 12:9-10).

I remember it was communion Sunday at my church and I was utterly drained, physically and spiritually. The sacrament of the Lord's Supper was explained, and the table fenced. The elders were given the elements to distribute until we were all to take them together. In my weariness, I looked at elders. They looked weary as well. Then, a picture came to mind of an airplane. I reached for the tray of crackers and juice and pictured the elder as a flight attendant, serving the passengers on their long journey. All going to our final destination, the weary flight attendants serve us as we go. I realized something: the Lord - our pilot, the wings of the eagle - supplies us with our every need for the journey home, including the confession and repentance of the sins that we have been fighting against for so long.

I suppose we are not just weary passengers, but weary soldiers. Every day, we must say Good morning, God of all strength, because He can strengthen us for the battle that lies ahead. Ephesians 6:10 says that we are to "be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might" [italics mine]. It is all in God's strength that anyone can fight this battle: and the battle begins with repentance and confession to find times of refreshment from Him.

I just praise God that He gave me strength every morning to fight weakness. Because in ministry, you realize just how weak you are.

We just heard a sermon about peace, because this past Sunday, we lit the peace candle in honor of Advent. The Senior Pastor at my church talked about our Prince of Peace. But such peace is not wrought in rest and relaxation. It is commenced in a crusade against the darkest enemy of sin. We are weary soldiers, but the Prince of Peace is strong and mighty to bring about the peace we long for: reconciliation between God and man.

That is strength: when I am not dressed for battle, He still accomplishes peace. And this is grace: when I am not dressed for battle, He still comforts me.

Good morning, God of all comfort.

I cannot lie, nothing could be finer than serving God right where He wants me. He was faithful along the way. Fully anticipating to pursue another internship in the Summer, I had lunch with one professor from my school who shared that her church was looking for a female youth intern for the summer and the Fall. I had already said no in my head, but I decided to try out the church. It was unreal how loved I was that Sunday, it made me want to be there. My first Sunday there was the newcomer's lunch. I met all the ministry staff at that lunch and two of the girls I would soon grow very close to. And the vulnerability, honesty, and integrity of the church shone through.

After enjoying the church for several weeks, I knew this was where I wanted to stick. Having started coaching with a good friend of mine, she counseled me through the whole process. I received blessings from the pastor at my old church to move to this new church and pursue the internship. I received blessings not to pursue the other internship from the CEO of that organization. I worked out time in my Fall schedule to pursue this internship over the Fall 2023 semester and I soon told my church I wanted to be an intern. The youth Pastor and his wife interviewed me, and later on the rest of the youth ministry volunteers. I was welcomed later with open arms.

Then I had to get my driver's license and a car. A good friend's mom offered to help me get my license. She showed me the ropes, she let me use her car for the test, and she encouraged me at points when I wanted to back out. Then I passed. Then I needed a car. Matthew 6 was an encouragement to me: "Seek first the Kingdom of God". Sovereign Lord, if you want me to do this internship over the Summer and Fall, I truly need you to supply this need. On the day of graduation in May, I was offered a car to borrow for the Summer from an unlikely source.

I also didn't know where I was going to live. God made it clear through many different means and very speedily: I was to live with the woman who told me about the internship in the first place, and her husband. I lived with the professor who had once been my advisor. She and her husband took me into their home, gratis. They helped me when I broke my foot during the internship. They fed me, they let me take up space and sleep under their roof. They would later sell me their car within my budget. My mom came to visit at one point, they hosted her as well. None of this could have been comfortable.

We talked a lot about prayer over the summer, and God doing far more abundantly than all we could ask or think. I came to understand that that is the reason we pray. We are "watchful in prayer" because God will do more than we could ever imagine. We don't expect blessings from the hands of the Lord, as if we ever deserved it. But we understand that God's will is to display His glory on this earth. Why would He not do that in answering prayers that align with His will, but doing it in spectacular ways?

I can't help but wonder if this Summer was simply an illustration of that. I hardly talked about the internship itself, and the providential ways in which God worked in my life while I was able to disciple these beautiful girls. I had felt very lonely - God gave me a dear church family. I was unsure of my Summer plans - God secured those mightily. I changed my major the Fall before - God allowed this internship to be further training for Bible Teaching. I had asked for close female friends - God gave me fifty young girls. I had seen pain in many churches - I was shown the joy of a church in unity. I was lamenting singleness - God lent me His bride, the church, to take care of, for better or worse.

2 Corinthians 1 has been a balm for me lately. It writes

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."

Maybe everything I experienced before this internship was not the kind of suffering Paul was experiencing. And yet the "God of all comfort" comforted me and blessed me with His church. "Nothing could be finer," as Dean may say (but certainly myself), "than the God who delights in blessing His children, in allowing them to experience His body afresh, who "equips them for every good work" (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

Good Morning, God who knows His plans for His children, who delights in blessing them, even through hardship. Good morning, Father who loves to reprove, but offers up refreshment for our souls as we confess and repent. Good Morning, sweet Spirit who can offer me as a suitable sacrifice to the glory and praise of the Lord. Good Morning, God who promises to do far more abundantly than anything I could ask for. Thank you. And now, set your will and desires ever on my heart, so I might be ready to teach your Word.