"No fate I dread"

Have you ever had that undying sense of dread for something, that bitter anxiousness deep within? And you can feel it, it isn't crawling along your skin or pulsing in your bloodstream. It truly is deep inside you, almost as if woven into you?

Last year, I had such anxiety for my grades that as tests and assessments arose, I spent my days dreading each new day. The only ease I would feel was when an assessment was over, or no assessments were on that day. But this was hardly sustained, because we all know that school is a bottomless pit of more work to be done - as is the case with everyday life. So living in dread is almost pointless, because you are simply pessimistic about challenges that occur every single day of your life.

So you might ask, where is the hope?

And some of you are facing situations much more stressful than those from last year. People are out there who are dreading each day as it fills with endless domestic abuse, the unsatisfactory fix from substance abuse, the mental and physical anguish of simply living each day. And my heart goes out to you. Your dread seems much more justifiable.

But coming out of Easter, I had the awakening reminder that there was one man who lived in dread of the one thing we all fear the most: death. Yes, I am talking about Jesus Christ - who knew how he was going to die because he was God and who knew that he could die because he was a man who could face mortality (something that becomes more complicated in his nature as God as well, but we won't go into that). Jesus had reason to dread.

If you asked the question "Would you rather know when you are going to die and how now, or be ignorant concerning this information?", I think most people would want the latter. If you were to consider this for just a moment, imagine having knowledge concerning your own death. Living each day with the knowledge that in however many days, you were going to meet your end. I think it truly is a grace of God that we are not subject to that knowledge.

But Jesus, as God, was fully aware of his mission, which would be complete at his end. He knew how he would die and when he would die. I think more importantly, for us, he knew why he would die. Despite knowing he would die for his betrayers - for the sins of the world - because of the love of the father, he would do thirty years of ministry on this earth, eventually leading to his death. He would not look to his death with only dread, but because of his death and mission, he would love the people who would learn to betray him.

We, who dread death, would subject the Son of God to mortality, something he himself would also dread.

We allowed him to face the very thing we were fearful of.

And that makes me remorseful beyond belief.

But in his love, mercy and grace, he would not only do ministry (and ask us to continue it on), he would complete his mission: to save those predestined to believe. He would do this by rising again and defeated sin and death for all.

One of my Church's favourite songs is by City Alight called "Yet Not I But Through Christ In Me". One verse says this:

"No fate I dread, I know I am forgiven
For he has said that he will bring me home
And day by day, I know he will renew me
Until I stand with joy before the throne"

And when I look at those words, I am given great courage. I do not dread eternal death, because Christ has rescued me from my sin and shame. He has forgiven me. I will go home to glory with him, and with great joy, I will stand at the throne of God the father. And in this hope, I can have great peace. By the spirit of the living God, I will be renewed daily, in spite of fear, sin and shame.

Dread is a real feeling - Jesus felt it too, in the Garden of Gethsemane. We see his pain, and the agony we put him through. Dread can be felt daily, but I pray that you might look to the living God for renewal every day.

As extra...

If you would like a good Bible verse for reminder, consider this from Deuteronomy. Upon a new era, under the command of Joshua, Moses steps down. The Israelites will face many enemies in this new time, but Moses tells them:

"Be strong and bold; have no fear or dread of them, because it is the Lord your God who goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you.” (Deut 31:6)

The Israelites might feel tempted to dread their enemies, to feel incredibly scared, but Moses encourages them to look to God. And I think we need to be reminded of this. We have much to fear...when a steady, sovereign God is not ruling over all. But because he is, let us look to him in all things, trusting in his good guidance for our lives.