Must I really know everything?

Seconds to minutes to hours upon end. That was how long I spent trying to take in all the content they wanted me to know last year. It was a constant competition to see how much I could learn, how much I could know. I was proud, I hardly approached learning with a state of humility. I wanted to be the best I could be, rarely thinking about the God who could provide the results.

More valuable than anything was the growth that could come in His words to me. More valuable than the richness of the content, or the broad knowledge of my mind or the substantiality of my thoughts or memories, was the truths that I could attain from a regular analysis of His attributes, His character, His person. Rather than achieve that, however, I received awards from High School: awards in which I could not boast, for all the glory belongs to God. And yet I detect an essence of pride, rather than a desire to truly honor God.

Every time I saw a textbook, I fed on what it said. Every time I saw God's word, I ignored it. My priorities were obviously confused.

This year, I came into a college with a new mindset: new place, new culture, new priorities. I set my mind on God where I could, I remembered my purpose. Additionally, when I feel unmotivated, I remember how the Lord blessed me in bringing me here, and how long I truly desired to be here for.

However, more often than not, it is not a matter of remaining motivated to work, but persevering in peace. Which begs me to ask question: Must I really know everything? Truly, as a human, I know I can never know all there is to know in a field - and there is always someone who knows more. As a Christian, I know I can never understand everything about life - and there is always a God who knows more.

It is a truly humbling when we can examine these a little closer.

Academically knowing more

The abundance of knowledge held within the many faculty here at CIU is insane. Most every professor has their doctorate. Every professor is incredibly wise, mature in their understanding of God's word, insightful, and knowledgeable. There is a great chance that I may never know as much as them.

The question Must I really know everything? really came upon me in my Intro to Philosophy class as we studied (and continue to study) epistemology. This is the area of philosophy most concerned with how we are to know. In particular, it asks how we can know certain things are real. Rene Descartes question reality by a system of doubting everything he knew to be true, until he was sure it had no doubts. If it had no doubts, then it was certain, but otherwise, we cannot deem something knowledge. There are other philosophers such as David Hume, John Locke and the like who were incredibly influential in this field as well.

I am overwhelmed by the minds of many of these philosophers, but I realized the amazing potential philosophy has for declining into pride. How many philosophers truly needed to know all they did? Did they all need to question what they needed to be true?

To what extent is all the questioning we do, the searching for answers, the pursuit of knowledge a matter of pride rather than the deep desire to know God more through our knowledge of the world and everything in it? Does our desire to know more spring from a sense of superiority, such as the Corinthians infamously possessed? Like the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, do we think ourselves that much like God that we feel comfortable pursuing omniscience?

When will our pride end?

Furthermore, when will love win in the end? 1 Corinthians 13:4 says:

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant"

In the midst of all my struggle last year, I question how much love I was pursuing for not only God, but my fellow man. I find it difficult to believe that there was any great desire to honor God in all my endeavors. I speak openly about this, because I have fought hard not to let it endure this year.

But it is still a struggle. I label myself "academic". I wonder often how much of me clings to that identity. I wonder how much truly seeks to learn more about God in his word and in the things I learn at school.

I ask you, plead with you, to examine your heart each day and ask: am I doing this for him? Am I loving others in what I do? If the answer is yes to each of those, pursue. If they are no, do not cease, simply reflect, and ask the spirit to change your heart.

The humbling omniscience of God

But as a Christian, there is a knowledge that from many seems more far removed. I know how deep the knowledge of God goes, so much so, that I do not know how deep it goes. The strangest thing is to know God is omniscient, and truly not know how omniscient he is. Psalm 147:5 says:

"Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure."

Romans 11:33-35 says:

"Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! “For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor? Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?""

Ultimately, there is a factor we must pull in. We can never know everything God knows. Ecclesiastes often talks about the uncertainties of life, the things in life that we will never understand because we are finite. In Old Testament Survey, in fact, we talked Qoheleth, the apparent character in Ecclesiastes, who goes on a quest to discover the meaning of life. We learnt that in areas of such uncertainty, we must approach God with humility, in trust and fear, and praise God for the blessings we do have in this life.

Perhaps God's omniscience does not feel real - but may I suggest that it very much is. May I also offend, proposing that your own blindness, your finiteness as a human, will always keep you from seeing the fullness of God. But as a Christian, this should make you happy. Would you want to serve a God who could be understood in your mind: a mind that could never hold the truths of the whole world.

Indeed, my greatest comfort in life is that there is a God above me who knows so much more than me, who wants me to depend on him, who knows my heart and can guide my steps. How I wish that everyday I might reflect on his omniscience and allow my proud heart to willingly submit to his glory.

In conclusion...

Must I know everything? No. What if we were a people who knew they didn't have to know everything? In fact, what if we were a people so determined against knowing everything that we loved one another better? What if our lack of knowledge created a greater love of God?

Now there is an extent to which you must learn and educate yourself in order to live a wise life on earth. There is a point at which you should learn, for the glory of God. But it becomes your purpose in why you are doing it? Is it to glorify yourself? Let me tell you, most of the time it is.

Next time you get caught up in politics, hoping to remain in the loop about the next trend, learning from textbooks or non-fiction for learning's sake, keep up with friends for fear of missing out, read from God's word so you can say you are reading the Bible, check yourself. Most of the main motivations will come out quite clearly. And I can promise you, if you are truly a Christian, you will be ashamed of where your true motivations lie.

What if I didn't need to know everything is a motto that I hope to apply a little more, not out of a desire to stop learning, but to stop trying to learning for learning's sake (or pride's sake). It is a question I can ask myself everyday to remind me that God is the only one who is omniscient.

It will get me off my desk after hours of study, after I have sufficiently done all my work and will get me out there to live my faith, to love others, and love God even more.