Faith-filled feelings

You do not know, you cannot know, for if you were to know, you would know it wholly in your head and your heart. And forget the fact that you are flawed, and that you do not know yourself better than Him. And ignore the possibility that you are incapable of being fully present, or expressing yourself sufficiently, or feeling you are in constant contentment. The fact may be, you should never doubt, or never challenge, or understand.

And so the lies come like deathly streams.

Few Christians doubt God's omniscience, but few, even after repentance, are willing to relinquish their insufficiency and the fact that they cannot measure up to their Creator. They are willing to accept God's power, they are just becoming comfortable assuming he would always do what they will, not what he wills. Too many Christians are taking their lack of relationship with the Lord to be God's lacking in drawing near to us.

But the fact remains that we are not taking the time to be in relationship with the Lord. And too many Christians are fatigued with the reminders to "read your Bible" or "pray more" or "take the time to fast" or "slow down". These reminders may not always be said in the most sincere way, but when did the calls the Lord has placed on our life lose their necessity because Christians were insincere? Could God's commands lose their power so quickly, so easily at the heart of mankind? I don't think so.

No, it doesn't really matter what you feel - in many ways.

And I say that last phrase as a clarification, because I was recently talking to a friend about mental health, and there is something about recognising that God cares for how we feel. They pointed out that biologically, the part of our head that make us feeler is pretty much fully developed at five years old. Our thinking part does not fully develop until twenty years later. At my age, it is scientifically much harder to control my feelings with my head because I am not fully developed.

I could easily use that as an excuse for almost anything I might do. So there is an essence to which I have to control what I do. No Christian behavior resulted because we let our emotions cloud our judgment. God made us too smart to be lacking such self-control. Self-control can therefore be cultivated.

But my friend also pointed out that there are so many different disorders that can cause self-control issues, and they seem to be more frequent than many initially think. I must be mindful of others.

Nevertheless, I also have to admit that while God loves me, he is also so much bigger than how I am feeling. This is a fact I have to acknowledge in my head, in my heart, whether or not I will fully comprehend it. No man should ever foolishly disavow anything because he cannot fully comprehend it, especially when so much evidence is clearly in its favor. I am expected to disavow everything I believe to be true, because I never will fully understand it. I might as well live under a rock and call it a day (or a life) because there is no point learning more.

Guys, your life, my life is so much bigger than we realize, and all to often we think "Life sucks" and we dig a hole under a rock and call it a day. We think our emotions can allow us to dig that hole, when it should be our minds - enthralled with the mysterious and incomprehensible words of God - that stops us from digging that hole and rather embrace the mystery around us.

I'm tired of allowing my emotions to dig a hole my head never wanted me to be in.

I'm tired of allowing my emotions to dig a hole my God never wanted me to be in.

A word from James...

"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you." (James 4:7-10)

James is commenting on the problems within the church he writes to. And he asks them if they even knew that their friendship with the world was enmity with God (vs.4). I do wonder if they too had issues with questioning the nearness of God. Israel certainly questioned "Where is the Lord?" and the prophets would ask "Why don't you return to Him and stop asking the question?".

All too often, I have seen the truth about them lie behind their questioning. They have failed to serve the Lord, they are continuing in sin, they themselves are far from the Lord.

Yet, I must, once again, stop myself. I cannot be Job's friends in this situation. I have met too many righteous people who have been facing immense suffering and now feel that God is far from them. David - the psalmist - cries,

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest."

Here is a man deeply in distress, who cries out to the Lord. He does not feel God's nearness. It was the same thing Jesus famously cried from the cross when he felt his Father's abandonment. It is an intense and harsh struggle to be at odds with the Lord in such a way. Such has been felt by the effects of sin. Such is the effect of our sin, of God's judgment for our sin, and no one bore that pain as heavily as the Lord Jesus himself.

Kristin Wetherell from The Gospel Coalition wrote an article in 2017 entitled "When God Feels Far Away". She says,

"...when you don’t feel God’s presence, rely on his character. His reign reminds me that he’s present everywhere. While I may not feel he is near, he is. Yet his holiness tells me I don’t deserve to be near him. "

But there is hope, for in the midst of this separation, we are brought back to unity with the Father. Jesus, reunited with his Father in the atonement, was able to bring us back in his righteousness into the presence of God. We have a restored relationship through Christ.

"But our reigning, holy God has given us the free gift of access by Christ’s blood. He’s given us what we don’t deserve—the freedom to draw near to his throne of grace with confidence. So when we feel God has forsaken us, we rely on what we know to be true: God’s holiness reigns, and he has granted us endless access to his presence."

It is actually an incredible thing that James can call us to "draw near to God" in chapter 4. We had no right to do so, it was all because of Christ. In the midst of my suffering, I must remind myself that I do not deserve anything more. In the midst of my suffering, I must also remind myself of the calling to suffer for the name of Christ.

And if I feel God is distant, I must take him at His word. Where Job felt loss at the perceived "distance" of the Lord, God revealed himself in a magnificent way. He scolded Job for forgetting everything amazing about Himself.

I am ashamed to admit that in the separation of what I know about God from the emotions I feel, I have ultimately distanced myself from the Father, claiming he has done an injustice to me. I must repent, for if anything, I have separated myself from Him, right from the beginning of my life. How he could choose me, a sinner, when he knew I would cause Him pain is incomprehensible to me!

Brian Borgman, in an interview with Alex Chediak from The Gospel Coalition, says this,

"The correctives for [the authority of faith and the authority of the feelings] are to see that the emotions, although fallen, are a good part of our humanity which reflects the image of God and that they are not sovereign over us, but rather through the Word and Spirit we can grow in emotional maturity and balance. Making that case is the burden of Feelings and Faith."

It is so important for us to become good stewards of the feelings the Lord has given us. It's an aspect of stewardship that we easily remove from our lives. We believe that feelings of the heart and the faith of the head are not united in one body. We forget that we have the ability to train ourselves to have self-control.

And I know this is going to sound hurtful to those of us who suffer from disorders. Please know I know the struggle is more real to you than many. But this is why trusting that the Lord is bigger than all of this (in your head) is going to be so much more reliable. When those emotions come flooding from the constant, nagging ache in your heart, you must surrender them to the Lord.

You must not abandon the Lord when you feel a certain way.

You must remember the Lord is bigger than the depression or anxiety or feelings of helplessness or doubt or fear.

And before we count our beliefs as more important than God's truths, let us also assess for ourselves whether our feelings could ever encounter God's truth and stand inerrant and justified next to His.

A little poem...

For those who speak in lyric, who read beauty and aesthetic, I believe these words could provide a little application for how we might respond as believers in the Lord.

Before we begin, I really wanted to ask you something. Will you allow your feelings to dictate your heart for the Lord? Or, more importantly, will you take on the heart of the Lord instead, so as to feel what he feels?

Self-control may be key. But prayer that the Spirit might grant you such change that you actually have God's heart might be the most redeeming thing for any disconnect between your faith and your feelings. And much of that will be dictated by God's word.

Hope you enjoy!

Habetis Cor Vestrum ("Have your heart")

Put all differences aside,

We know we can never compare:

No rib cut from side,

Flesh made from man unaware.

No unity with our fallen flesh

For his part – wholly him – was perfection.

“Improperly distorted,” our nature says,

“Between you and him, great tension.”

But from him bounds grace upon grace,

Tear upon tear, joy upon joy.

His markings in the sand we trace,

Despising the Tempter’s vicious ploy.

Simply footprint, can you tell?

Faces of the world, might you reveal,

Where my aching bones might crawl

So as to feel what he feels?

For from his own mind, and heart

Nothing else more sought,

The treasures that he might impart,

The wisdom he has taught.

And in this yearning,

I might see the world as he

And in persistent learning

With more of his heart, I might be free.